The Truth About "Finding Yourself"

You might remember that I wrote a post a few months ago called "Finding Yourself," and I recently expanded it for I'm including an excerpt of the new piece because I feel so strongly about this message. Click over to Babble to read the full essay.

What I didn’t understand back in my early 20s, holding a positive pregnancy test, is that we are not defined by our situations or stereotypes. That there is no path to self-discovery, and it’s all just a collection of our experiences and struggles — which is individual and nuanced.

I didn’t understand how transformative it is to see yourself through the lens of a new life — an introspective lens that magnifies our character. After having my son, I felt an urgency to grow up, to mature, because (unlike the typical 20-something) I had a little person looking to me as a life guide. I couldn’t predict the life-changing experience of sitting front row to our species’ growth and development, of loving something so fiercely, of sharing my body with another living being.

My perspective and priorities shifted into alignment, despite the noisy and ordinary setting.

And as far as my relationship, I didn’t understand how beautiful it can be to grow up alongside someone who watched my evolution and held my hand throughout the process. Who helped me find myself and be my own.

That being said, it’s not without its challenges. To claim otherwise would be disingenuous. Starting a family in your 20s comes with its unique challenges as a young mother and a young wife, but that’s the case with any life choice.

Here’s the thing: We can find ourselves in a multitude of ways, spanning decades and lifetimes. We can find ourselves through struggles and dark moments. Streaks of clarity and motivation to change can come from unexpected places in unexpected ways.
— as published on