Did you get pregnant with your boyfriend after a short time of dating? Were you scared to tell your partner about the pregnancy? Did he have a terrible reaction? Brittany needs your advice —
[[Here are some snippets of the emails she sent me...]]
I am 20 years old. Currently attending college far away from home. Single. About 5 weeks pregnant with a wonderful guy I had just started spending time with for about a month or so. My plan is to keep it and go on with the pregnancy.
...I am by no means in a steady relationship with the father of my child. He is a wonderful person and a good hearted soul. But I am really scared what his reaction will be. He is in his last year of college. About to graduate. About to start his life. And here I am — this girl he just started spending time with, knocked up.
I have read many stories on how unplanned pregnancies for woman in their early 20's turned out to be one of the best things that happened in their life. But most of these people had a stable boyfriend. I am not scared to become a mom. ...But I am very scared to be a single mom that has to put her life on hold, despite the amazing family support. What if he does not want anything to do with it? I really do not think he would ever do that because he is such an awesome guy, but what if he sees me as the one who ruined his life?
I, myself, can not be anything other than positive (there really is no other option). But if his reaction isnt the same, that could break my spirit and make me feel very scared and uncomfortable to be the first of my friends to get pregnant. Also, when is the right time to tell him? I wanted to tell him after a visit to a professional doctor, but I find being around him with this secret is eating me away. My biggest fear is not becoming a mom, but that I will wind up being a single mom forever.
Turns out he didn't have the best reaction...
He reacted very child-like and immature. I would not consider him my boyfriend, but I thought he would be a little more manly than that. He got very upset and begged me for an abortion. I was somewhat heartbroken and definitely feel I got involved with him way too fast. He has relaxed and bit after his initial reaction. I told him I am keeping it and we are having another talk tomorrow.
...I thought if this ever happened to me that the father would encourage the idea of having children with me not resent it. The feeling is somewhat similar to that of rejection: feeling unwanted and alone. I am not coping with that well.
Brittany went on to explain that she has incredible family support, which is a blessing. (That's more than some young pregnant women.) And she also has our support.
Did you have a similar situation? How did you handle it? How did it all work out? What advice do you have for Brittany?