If you follow over on Facebook, you saw the article I posted called 7 Things Never To Say To A First-Time Mom Over 40. I think it's important to recognize that mothers on all points of the spectrum can feel insecure and offended — not just us.
But I also decided to make a list of my own:
7 Things Never to Say to a First-Time Mom Under 25
1. You look like a baby yourself!!!!
I've heard this more times than I can count, and I cringe every time. (I've also heard these a lot: "You look too young to have a baby!" and "You look like you're in high school!") I know one day I'll be thankful for comments like that, but not yet. It has this way of making us feel insecure — like we need to defend ourselves, or wear a sign saying NOT A TEEN MOM.
2. When are you getting married?
If there isn't a ring on my finger, you probably shouldn't ask. Yet family and strangers alike felt the need to lead in with this question almost immediately after hearing the news — as if signing those documents are an important, unavoidable prerequisite to parenthood. We don't need more pressure and stress right now.
3. Are you the nanny, or...?
And this is usually followed with, "You look like a baby!!!"/"You look like you're in high school!"/"You look too young to have a baby!" Or even a worse, a pity-filled, eyebrow-raised "Ohhhh...how niiiice..." as they search your face for an age.
4. At least you're a MILF.
(....uncomfortable smile....) I know this is usually just a joke — but it's a weird thing to say. So don't.
5. I never could've been a mom when I was ____. I was so happy I could _____, and ______, and ______ in my 20s. I really needed those years.
Are you trying to defend your own choices? Or are you really just that insensitive?
6. Was it planned?
I got more questions than I got congratulations during my pregnancy — and this one, in particular, was often said when the word "congratulations" would be more appropriate. And although mine wasn't planned per se, there are young mothers out there who actively chose this path. Yet by the way this question is emphasized, an answer of "yes" would only prompt more questions and astonished looks.
7. Wow, how old are you?
I have to admit, I used to get anxiety anticipating this question — which is why I started to lie.
Anything to add?