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Michelle
I'm a young mom with big dreams, juggling my roles as mother, wife, and relentless dream chaser — all while developing as an adult. I'm here to create a community that I couldn't find myself — to prove that "early" motherhood doesn't define or limit us.
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05.1.12
Apparently more 20-somethings are getting accidentally pregnant than any other age group — two times more than any other age group, in fact — according to The Guttmacher Institute.
I’ve read a lot of articles responding to this recent study — ranging from snarky to serious — but as part of this statistical group, I figured I’d lend my voice to the discussion.
Which I did, over at Babble.com.
Click over there for my opinion, and add your story to the comment section.
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7 Comments to Why/How Did YOU Get Pregnant?
Gemma
May 1, 2012 at 8:50 pm
My husband and I planned our pregnancy when I was 21, giving birth to my son when I was 22. I had this unexpected longing for a baby in my twenties, even though when I was younger I planned on putting off babies until I was 27. I think the statistics for 20-somethings getting accidentally pregnant is more complicated than just horny college/grad-school girls getting knocked up because they’re ambivalent or they just don’t care. I think there’s a disconnect between what our minds and bodies and hearts want during this time, so “not trying but not actively preventing” becomes our solution.
fancybob
May 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm
It’s funny – your article uses the exact phrase that describes myself & my husband when I got pregnant at 25 (going on 26): “We weren’t trying, but we weren’t not trying.” We really did want a baby, but he was just starting law school. We weren’t really in the right place financially for a child, so I think we just left it to chance since we couldn’t admit that it was what we really wanted. We’ve always been a little ahead of our peers, though, since we bought a house together when I was 23 and got married just as I had turned 24 (my husband is 2 years older than me).
Hannah
May 2, 2012 at 10:44 pm
I’m also in the “not trying but not not trying” group. I wanted a baby so badly, but didn’t think it would be very wise (I was a second year med student at the time). My husband and I just kind of gradually stopped using birth control one month, without really discussing it. By the end of the month, I was pregnant. So it can’t really be called an accident when you weren’t doing anything to prevent it, can it?
Marie
May 8, 2012 at 4:31 am
On purpose-ish after we’d been married 2 years and I finished college, with the kid arriving when I was 23 and we’d been married not yet 3 years. The -ish part is there because we had the “well, when are we having kids anyway?” discussion when we did because we were moving and my mail-order birth control was late/mailed the wrong place and I hated to spend money we didn’t have (plus plenty of time fussing with the insurance company on the phone) to get one month from a local pharmacy. The conclusion was “there won’t be a good time, and family is our priority, not being perfectly ready to be parents, so why not now?” and then poof we got pregnant immediately.
Andrea
May 10, 2012 at 1:50 am
I’m so happy I found this blog. While I am not an early mama yet, I am only almost 23 and planning my first. I’ve been married for close to 4 years, and I feel it’s the right time for us to start a family. I’m a little bit scared of what people will say (and about becoming a mother in general, since it’s totally unknown to me) because of all the negative comments I received when I got married so young. It’s nice to find other young moms.
Christina
May 25, 2012 at 2:06 pm
I got married at 20 and had my first daughter 3 1/2 weeks before our first anniversary. I was on the pill, never missed one, always taken at the same time of day, not on any medication. HUGE suprprise that took me about 5 months to finally get somewhat excited about. Then we decided since we had one, may as well try for another. We had our second daughter 3 days after my first’s 2nd birthday.
I often feel like my honeymoon stage got cut short, and our marriage has been tough with lay-offs, hubby in school, etc., but then I look at my girlies, and think it could be much worse.
bonita
June 5, 2012 at 5:39 am
Wow, Gemma, that’s exactly what happened to my husband and I! I wanted to ‘wait’ two years after we were married to have children, but I just ended up seriously wanting to have kids earlier, and we weren’t really caring if we did get pregnant so we ended up conceiving about eight months after we got married!
And I think you’ve hit the nail on the head – there is the huge gap between what we think we should be doing, (our heads/peer pressure telling us we have to be “older” and “ready”) and our hearts which just want to experience the joy of parenting.
I’ve got to say that no matter how ‘unplanned’ our little boy was I seriously would not change a thing. The timing couldn’t have ended up more perfect than it has.