01.20.12
I know this is hard for a lot of people to understand, considering my age and the young-ness that I “settled down” — but I have partied. Kind of a lot. I went to bars long before I was legally allowed. I lived in a college dorm. I even lived in several apartments (5!) — by myself, with roommates, and with my now-husband.
I’ve had enough dance-floor dancing, shot taking, and embarrassing moments to last the rest of my life. You can ask my college friends. (Or don’t, actually.)
But I never really liked it. It always felt like a chore — something I was supposed to do — and I in no way went out as often as the typical college girls who found an excuse to drink preeeetty much every day of the week. I couldn’t keep up. No thanks.
Confession: I got my first job as an excuse to not go out on the weekends. As much as I enjoyed being with my friends, I’m secretly a bit of a loner. And when I went away to college, I happened to find similar homebodies who enjoyed hanging out in our room and watching sappy movies. And dancing. By ourselves.
That’s just who I am.
So when people tell me that “all the young moms I know eventually felt like they missed out on something,” I fully, wholeheartedly know that it won’t be me. I know I didn’t miss out on anything because I’ve always known that it wasn’t for me. I got it out of my system at an early age, and I was ready to move on. Having a condensed version of the “typical” experiences — dating, partying, living alone — was enough for me. Next.
When given the option to go out on a Friday night or stay in, I say let’s stay home. Especially when home looks like this:
We all have different personalities. Luckily early parenthood compliments mine.
(And I still throw weekly dance parties — my partner is just way smaller. And way sillier.)
10 Comments to Reason #21: Let’s Stay Home
Nell
January 20, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I completely agree! I never really liked going out anyway, and now as a mama (and expecting number 2 in a few months), there’s much less pressure to “go out.” Instead I get to have the fun girls’ dinner or date night, but mostly nights in at home snuggling.
Whitney at It's Gravy, Baby!
January 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm
I cannot believe I haven’t come across your blog soon. It is so nice and refreshing to see another young mama who completely embraces motherhood. My husband and I chose to start our family early and in the process, we lost most of our friends. Something about bringing our kids along or simply staying at home isn’t cool, I guess. haha
And this.
“So when people tell me that “all the young moms I know eventually felt like they missed out on something,” I fully, wholeheartedly know that it won’t be me. I know I didn’t miss out on anything because I’ve always known that it wasn’t for me. I got it out of my system at an early age, and I was ready to move on. Having a condensed version of the “typical” experiences — dating, partying, living alone — was enough for me. Next.”
Thank you. THAT is what I’ve been trying to put into words for years and just couldn’t.
Fannie
January 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm
I have never been a partier. I’ve always been kind of an introvert. Once I was married, I was content to just hang out with my husband. I do like entertaining, like having some couple friends over, but not all the time.
So, choosing to have a baby at the young-ish age of 24 didn’t really phase me socially. I’ve never felt like I was missing anything.
Liann
January 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Totally agree. It was a relief when I met Chris and had someone to stay in with. Otherwise there was the expectation of going out. And while that was fun once in a while, and I’m glad I have those memories with my friends from college, I am sooo content with where I’m at now. There is no where I’d rather be on a Friday or Saturday night, then next to my hunny on the couch, watching Duncan play. He’s better entertainment than going out ever was anyway!
Gemma
January 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm
I love that being an early mama has given me the excuse not to go out. My favorite part of going out in college was coming home and showering and going to bed with my fiance (now husband and daddy). I think you put it perfectly. There is a difference in personality to be accounted for; going out and partying isn’t a fundamental need for all 20 somethings. Happiness looks different for everyone, and for me it looks like snuggling my baby on a Friday night before eating dinner while watching a redbox movie with the hubs.
Megan
January 20, 2012 at 8:47 pm
I loved going out in college and post-grad, but right before I got pregnant, the urge to go out all weekend went away. I still enjoyed going out once in a while to dance with the girls, but they were all still single and looking for guys, while I was the weird married one. While I was pregnant, I still went out and acted as our group’s DD. It was actually kinda nice. I was a super cheap date. My husband has been over the going-out scene for a few years now. It can be such a hassle. I go out once in a while, have a great time, and get it out of my system. J stays home with E and they have a boys night. My friends are now really content to come over and watch movies or play games because they are wonderful.
Tiny Blue Lines
January 20, 2012 at 10:58 pm
Same here Michelle! And I love that motherhood gives me permission to do dorky crafts and family activities.
Anastasia @ eco-babyz
November 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm
I’m there with you! I love being home with my littles!
Miss Winks
November 30, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Agreed. I maybe went out clubbing with friends a handful of times and every time was the same. Boring, with creepy guys that try to touch your whole body without asking you first. The best times were when my friends and I danced with only each other. Oh, and maybe the lights were cool and the loudness of the music but other than that clubs smell like B.O., cologne, cigarettes/weed and alcohol and are full of weirdos that try to take advantage of the darkness to violate people. Thanks but no thanks. Same thing with college parties. Drunk silly frat boys falling all over themselves trying to play pool and watch Family Guy while guzzling kegs or taking bong rips, maybe having to go outside to vomit in a bush. Not sexy or attractive. Much sexier and fulfilling is a man that focuses only on you and dotes on the beautiful baby you made together, at home.
Margo
May 14, 2013 at 12:46 am
It’s as if I wrote this post myself! So great to hear about other young women similar to myself. Makes me feel good