I started a series called “Why I Love Being an Early Mama” about 6 months ago, to list some of the benefits of choosing this earlier-than-the-norm path. We all know the drawbacks — drilled in from a society that says our young relationships will never last, and that we’ll never accomplish anything.
I wanted to create a series of reasons to help young pregnant women feel excited rather than stressed. For new young moms to feel confident rather than ashamed. For all of us to be inspired by the positive, rather than weighed down by the negative.
I’ll continue to update as the ideas come to me (and please feel free to share yours!), but here are the first 20 reasons to love being a 20-something mom:
Reason #1: 10 more years with my children
Reason #2: More energy
Reason #3: No ticking biological clock
Reason #4: More time with grandparents
Reason #5: An early empty nest
Reason #6: Less lifestyle adjustment
Reason #7: More babies!
Reason #8: A resilient body
Reason #9: Fertility
Reason #10: Less pregnancy complications
Reason #11: Grandchildren
Reason #12: Sharing accomplishments
Reason #13: Refocused goals; refueled ambition
Reason #14: The youth culture advantage
Reason #15: Your kids (ultimately) prefer it
Reason #16: Always “the young one”
Reason #17: Life through their eyes
Reason #18: Non-sexy Halloween (+ more exciting holidays)
Reason #19: Always the expert
Reason #20: Better paths
You will look like the mother of the bride/groom, not the grandmother when your kids get married….and you might actually be around to see your grandkids get married and see great grand children. plus, there is ALWAYS a career to be had later in life…that’s not true with children.
My #1 reason (that it took me almost 15 years to realize) is that we are more adaptable while we are younger. We grow more staid and dependent on routine as we grow older. My older girls have pointed out time and again that changes didn’t stress me out as much when they were little
@Misty and @Kendall: All good points!
This 20 reasons are beautiful.
The most amazing result of having my son younger (besides having an amazing son) is the fact that the whole world it open to us. I am growing up and learning. He is right there with me. He can see me work hard and be sucessful and have a first hand example. Everyone loved the talks of how hard their parents worked. My son sees me everyday work. He watched me graduate highschool. To enter college.
I love that you’re doing this. Although I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum, I regularly think about what’s great about being a 40 year old mom (of a toddler), too. Being a parent is beautiful at any age, but I love that you’re building community around what it means for you. xox
@Allison: Thank you so much. And I love that you’re looking at the positive of your situation too!
Less pressure to have the perfect baby stuff. I don’t have to make an excuse for why my kid doesn’t have a bottle warmer (or whatever), we’re broke. And honestly, I’m glad my daughter’s grandparents can buy her stuff she needs rather than spoiling her, as would happen if we could afford all the cute kid outfits I’d like to buy for her.
Hello! I was once the young mama having my first at age 21,my second at 35 and my third at 43!
I would actually agree that I felt my most energetic and confident with my first. I’m also glad I had a child early because my father was still living for my first and therefore could meet at least one of his grandchildren! I have also gone from being the youngest Mom in the class to one of the oldest, but I would not have changed a thing!
Always keep positive, though it’s not always easy, and you will see the benefits!
Love this! I am 44 years older than my daughter and I’ve really never thought about how an “early mom” might feel. While a lot of your reasons are the drawbacks of being an older mom (fewer babies, an stubborn body, maybe not seeing grandkids) what this tells me is how much we have in common: being embarrassed to tell people my age, and feeling isolated, as you stated. Such an eye-opener. It also shows me that all moms have a certain amount of angst about how the “other moms” are doing it – better, sooner, later – and that this is just a myth. Thanks for reminding all of us to look at the benefits of being a mother – at any age!
Thank you so much for your comment, Andrea! I agree that there’s a lot of insecurity and isolation on both ends of the spectrum, and it’s nice to be able to have these open-minded conversations.
This was a really refreshing post to read. I’m only 21 and started dating my boyfriend at 18. He had a 15month old daughter and the mother opted out. While I’ve taken on the title “mommy” by this darling now 4 year old, I’ve faced a lot of acceptance issues from my peers, and even of older spectators. If I could go back to being 18 and remake my decision, it’d go the same way. The joys of being a young mother are beyond plentiful. I love my little family. My daughter is my best friend. Thank you for the encouraging post.
Oh I loved this blog! I am the mother of 3 children, who are now 37, 36 and 32. I am 57, you can do the math. I was the youngest of my friends to get married, have children and now my most favorite part, grandchildren. I like to think that no one has the “complete credentials” to parent. But having said that, I also think that if you have made up your mind to have children and you are willing to do what has to be done, you will do a great job parenting. Oh the challenges are many, but the rewards cannot be counted. Now that my kid are grown, I have gone back to school myself and have time and energy to do those things that I put on hold. No regrets here! I’d do it again in a heart beat. Thanks for the great reminders of some of the best years of my life. More of the best is still to come.
I just found your blog and totally love this! I had my 3 kids from age 19 to 26. I find it so hard (especially now that my oldest is in third grade) to be taken seriously by other moms, many of whom have 15 years on me! Thanks for the encouragement, it’s something we really do all need!
Thank you so much for this post. I’m 27 and have a 6-year-old and a 4-year-old. The disconnect between me and the other parents in my first-grader’s class is tremendous. They’re all attorneys or accountants or some sort of professional, while I’m finishing up school. I suppose it’s my own insecurities that I battle, but I go back and forth between being proud to be a young mom and being ashamed because I’m young and single and a parent to a child in first grade. My children are my life and sometimes I just have to take a step back and realize all the good things — especially the fact that I’ll be 40 with two kids in college. It’s stressful being a young mom and not having anyone to go to for parenting advice (at least not anyone that’s parented in the last 20 years). But reading a post like this one really brings to light all the things I knew all along but never could really put into words. So thanks for that.
I don’t consider myself an “early mom” necessarily, having my first at 26, although I am a twenty-something mom with a lot of mom-friends that are older than me. I think this is a beautiful post…one I’d like to elaborate on on my own blog sometimes. Thanks for sharing these and making me remember all the amazing things I have to be thankful for.
I’m 23 and possibly expecting my second (I find out tomorrow).
I love being a young mother because it allots me more time to muster the strength I know I’ll need as an older mom.
My husband is 7 years older than me, with type 1 diabetes. We all know he’ll be the first to “go”. By having my children young, they get more time together, and I get more time to prepare for the months and months I’ll be the solid rock for my mourning children. This all sounds so morbid, but I’m a big picture person. I have to plan, prepare, and get ready. And when the time comes, I will be.
Also, my mother had me at 33, and my brothers 2 and 4 years later. She’s a grandmother now, and focuses more on that than parenting her still-young sons. I don’t want that to happen with me.