The stats are in: Not only are less young women having babies than ever before (with 1 in 5 U.S. women having their first baby after the age of 35), but less women are having babies — period.
New data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that the national birth rate is down for the third year in a row, and experts agree that it’s because of our economy. 20-something women don’t feel that they have the financial security to start a family, which is also stopping other women from growing their families. Another possible reason? Having one child is becoming the new norm., especially when parents start stressing over exorbitant college tuitions — heck, preschool tuitions — and the lack of job flexibility. Most families can’t survive on one income, leaving the woman to make some pretty serious life choices.
This is something that I can very much relate to, considering my hesitations about expanding my own family. Yet although (a large part of me) is probably compensating for my previous unpreparedness — I need to be ready! secure! sure! — the rational part of me knows that’s never really possible. The better part of me recognizes how immeasurably better my life has become, personally and professionally, since becoming an early mom.
But I still find myself looking to our income + budget when considering another child. I still weigh childcare costs and savings accounts. I still get scared about making this very big choice.
How much did you consider finances before having a baby? How important are finances in your family planning? Did anyone else have trouble going from one to two? Or two to three?
Read two sides of the argument (one being mine) over at Being Pregnant.
I am expecting our 4th in January. I have to say that we have never really considered finances when planning our family. We know that we’ll just make it work. We have a comfortable lifestyle but certainly with four children we will have to make some sacrifices- fewer meals out, maybe our children will not have as many extra-curricular activities, far-away family vacays will probably be few and far between, etc, etc. I think the joy of a large, happy family far outweighs the cons of these small sacrifices.
Also, I have to say as a labor and delivery nurse up here in Canada, I am personally finding the opposite of these stats to be true- I am seeing more and more women give birth to their 3rd children and I am certainly not the only one in my circle of young moms who is having a fourth child. Interesting!
@Nikki: Wonder if socialized medicine plays a part. I know my ongoing insurance struggles is a main obstacle in having another baby.
@Joy: Absolutely. I have everything ready for another baby — all of the gear, cloth diapers, breast pump, etc. But lord help me if I have a girl, because I won’t be able to resist blowing money on girl clothes and accessories!
@Amy: I’m sure you’ll make it work, whatever you decide!
Funny thing I read a few years ago. The more children you have the less it cost to raise the next child. Think: crib, clothes, toys, books, etc. Plus, the older brother is the best entertainment money can buy!
For me, one to two was easy. I know I wanted two kids and was prepared to pay whatever cost and make whatever sacrifices I needed.
However, two to three? My husband and I are pretty much in agreeance that we can’t really afford it, that having a third child would mean limiting our first two in regards to education, overseas travel etc. That doesn’t stop my body from wanting to have more though- I have a feeling this might become a real issue in a few years time.
As a youngish mom (28 with a 1.5 year old and another on the way)who works part time, finances seems like a silly reason to avoid having a child. There are good doctors out there who will negotiate with you. (I know my OB will do all prenatal, delivery etc for 2000). That was less than what I paid for my doctor, delivery, hospital WITH insurance.
Also, as one of five my family never had much money, but I have been to 46 states in the US. So we never traveled overseas as a family, but we took epic road trips, stayed all in one cheap hotel room and have seen this country. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
There are preschool co-ops, great public schools, and what’s wrong with expecting your child to get scholarships and attend a college they can afford?
Though the question for us on whether to have baby #4 is many years away, I think our finances are going to be the major factor in the decision we make. We already know there is an end-date to the house we bought a few years ago because two bedrooms and three kids of different genders isn’t going to work past elementary school. We also know that there is a higher possibility for us to have multiples again, so really the question is can we handle babies #4 and #5? And possibly even #4, #5, and #6? We would love to have some flexibility to spend summers sub-leasing homes in a few different cities around the country, and even spend two or three summers abroad before the triplets grow up and leave home. I hate the thought that we might not have one more somewhere down the line, but if it means we can’t afford to fulfill any of our dreams of giving our kids experiences around the country and the world (let alone afford a house big enough for everyone) I don’t know that we’ll make the decision to have another. Its super tough and I’m glad I don’t have to make that decision yet.
In response to Christy’s comment, there are a lot more components of the financial question than the delivery of the baby (that’s chump change) and school. We went from 0 to 3 kids, I had to quit my job and our health insurance premiums shot up to be as much as our house payment. Paying for preschool for 3 kids would cost MORE than our mortgage each month. It would be completely irresponsible of my husband and I to disregard our finances and choose to have another baby in our situation. I agree that you can give your family great experiences without much money, but have you asked your parents what kind of sacrifices they made to be able to take time off work to go on epic road trips around the country? Its great that they made it work in their situation, but not everyone’s jobs are that flexible. Everyone’s family situation is different and I don’t think its fair to say that not having another child for financial reasons is “silly”.
Yes I do know. My dad graduated from college (undergrad) with 2 children. He put himself through school by going to school fulltime and working fulltime at nights. My mom was a nurse who worked nights until my sister was born. (We are 17 months apart). We did not own a new car until I probably was in high school…I may have even been in college. We lived in a good neighborhood with good schools, but it wasn’t the biggest or best house. My parents also had early morning paper routes that they both did for extra income. As kids we helped on weekends until I was a freshman in high school (at that point I did my own paper route every morning)and they no longer needed the extra change. I also have a brother with hearing loss who required tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in equipment and therapy (not covered by insurance). We didn’t all go to preschool, but we were smart. While finances are important, I just think it shouldn’t be the top priority as far as deciding to add to a family. As far as our vacations…my dad just used his vacation time wisely and it all worked out.
[...] was the norm — but it’s becoming more and more unusual, depending on where you live. Now 1 in 5 U.S. women are having their first baby after the age of 35, and the average age for first-time moms in Italy, [...]