Today’s guest post is from a not-as-early mama, Elizabeth Rago of Parenting without a Parachute.
I envy the young mother and often think about how my style of parenting would have been different had I conceived at a “young age.” Not one to look back and regret anything in my past, I can’t help but think I would have been a little less rigid as a mother in my early 20s. I often read articles suggesting women are better prepared to parent after 30 because they have had time to find themselves, have financial stability, etc…
I cannot say that particular opinion applies to me, and the older I became, the more outside influences drove my life instead of my own internal passion.
I had a youthful peace about me in my early 20s, which I believe would have translated into an overall calmness in child rearing. My living space was small and cozy, my paycheck was sufficient. I really didn’t care what people thought about me and I was genuinely content.
Sure I had the opportunity to spend time alone with my husband, travel and gain valuable work experience. But as my mid-20s loomed, my creative and happy nature was suppressed and choked to death by my lack of courage to chase my dream, not to mention the stack of bills and student loan payments I had become bound to.
And let’s talk about energy level! I realize anyone would experience exhaustion faced with newborn all-nighters, but as I entered my 30s, I realized I had to work extra hard to physically keep up with my infant (hello, coffee!) and was beginning to collect dark circles under my eyes no amount of concealer could hide.
Of course I would not change a thing about my life or my family. I cannot imagine living without my two children (ages 3 and 5), and I anticipate with heartfelt joy the arrival of our third child this January. Having children opened my eyes to finding my own passion for life and changed my heart to be a positive living example for my children.
But don’t we want our children to have a life better than our own?
Knowing what I know now, I want to encourage my children to:
- Follow your dreams no matter what. Never quit.
- Resist getting caught up in the world and other people’s expectations for you.
- Be yourself, even when people call you weird.
- Always stand up for the little guys.
What do you think is better about having children at a young age? Or, would you have waited and had children later in life?
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About Elizabeth Rago
An eternal optimist, Elizabeth tries to face the uncertainty of each day with humor and a hot cup of coffee. She’s a wife, mother, small-business owner, and writer who makes mistakes but lives to talk (and usually laugh) about them. Feel free to get social with her on Twitter @bethrago or visit her at Parenting Without A Parachute.
14 Comments to Young Motherhood: A Different Perspective
Gloria
November 1, 2011 at 2:53 pm
I love this post. Great work ladies.
Elizabeth Rago
November 1, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Thank you, Gloria! With age comes wisdom-sometimes.
Nell
November 1, 2011 at 7:57 pm
What a refreshingly honest post. As a late 20′s mom who did a few years of career before baby number 1, I always felt like I had to justify the timing of our first baby. But really we as moms get to just embrace our lives, decisions, and good fortune to have children and forget about what our peers might think about family choices!
Elizabeth Rago
November 1, 2011 at 9:44 pm
Thank you, Nell! Great advice. We do need to embrace our choices and be content with the people we love under our own roof. Thank you for reading!
Krishann
November 5, 2011 at 7:15 am
Lovely post! Such valuable lessons you want to teach to your children. And yes I do believe we all want our children a better life than our own.
Sarah Peduzzi
November 7, 2011 at 6:15 pm
What a lovely post. I loved the list of things you want to teach your children, especially the one about embracing your weirdness!
Ty
November 9, 2011 at 4:32 am
I love this. As a 19 year old mom to triplets, I believe that my age is on my side. I did not plan it, but I would not change it if I could. Congratulations on your 3rd pregnancy!!
Kali
November 9, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Since my early twenties I have been ready to have children but have known my husband is not. I don’t believe there is a true age that a woman should be or is ready to have children. I think it depends on the woman. As I get older I know I will grow wiser to provide for my children but I also know how much more exhausted I will be! Good luck with your children. I wish you all the love and health possible.
Elizabeth Rago
November 12, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Thank you, Krishann!
Elizabeth Rago
November 12, 2011 at 10:56 pm
Oh, my goodness, if I had embraced my weirdness (which is now referred to as being “unique”) I think I would have followed my passions at a younger age. Oh well! Thank you for the kind words and thank you for reading!
Elizabeth Rago
November 12, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Ty, Congrats on having three babies at one time! I am in awe of you. Hang in there! Thank you for the congrats and I appreciate you reading my post!
Elizabeth Rago
November 12, 2011 at 11:12 pm
Kali,
Thank you for the loving wishes and good luck to you!!
I completely agree with your statement that the time to have children is “right” for each person individually. I know some women who are so calm and wise, having children later in life and I am so inspired that one day soon, I will be as patient as they. I guess I shouldn’t compare myself to other people and press on knowing I am blessed with the children I have right now.
jelai rodriguez
November 23, 2011 at 1:23 pm
It was a nice message,at my age of 27 I’m still studying in college so until now I am not to having family or a baby. I had an advocacy for my dreams. young message was meaningful and had a lot of lesson.
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