I’ve written about this before, but I’ll say it again: I’ve always felt young. In one way or another, age was always a prominent issue in my life — which is why this blog, this lifestyle, seems fitting in a way.
And then as I was about to turn 25, I felt like I was prepping to hurdle over a divider. Something about this year felt significant to me — and now I know why.
For the first time in my life, I don’t feel “young”. Of course I feel youthful and I’m, obviously, young, but I don’t perceive myself as being too young anymore. And if this “early mama” experience has taught me anything, it’s that our own perception is the one that really matters. That’s what makes us feel insecure, inhibited, isolated.
It could be the number 25 (no longer the “early” 20s), but it could also be the fact that more of my peers are venturing into this previously uncharted lifestyle. They’re getting married (or at least being serious about dating), having babies, growing up. And even though I’m still one of the few 25 year olds with a toddler, I don’t feel like such an outcast. I’m not lying about my age to strangers or ducking the “how old are you” question, mostly because those raised eyebrows and pity-laced comments aren’t there anymore.
Or maybe it’s because I’ve become more comfortable with myself — less embarrassed or ashamed. I’m proud, in fact, of the life I’ve built with my young, happy family. It could just be that I’m not all that young anymore — which is more of a shock than I ever imagined it would be.
Or maybe it’s because of this community — your emails, your stories, your support. I wanted to create a space where other younger moms could connect and feel less alone, but I didn’t realize how much of an impact it would have on my life. So thank you for that.
When did YOU stop feeling “young”?
The same thing happened to me–I turned 25 and all of a sudden, I felt like a different, older person. 25 has always been a milestone for me, and maybe that’s why. I think other people, especially my peers, still view me as young, maybe even too young, to have a toddler and another baby on the way, but that could be because I live in NYC, where most women are waiting until their 30s to start families. Either way, I feel more in my element now that I’m 25. Can’t really explain it, but I think you really got it on the nose here.
Like you, now that I’m 25, I’m more comfortable with myself. Having my daughter young meant I matured a little faster than some friends of mine, I had to. I realise now that what made insecure, was simply the age, the number, even though I felt older than I was. It’s like now my age caught up with me.