Did you hear how 39-year-old actress Sofia Vergara (from Modern Family) spoke out in Redbook about the benefits of having her son at 19 years old, including having more energy? And that, although her boyfriend would love to have another baby (which is possible at her age!), she doesn’t think she could handle it as well as she did 20 years ago. (Although she might be open to the idea. Can you imagine? 20 years apart?)
Yet sites like Celebrity Baby Scoop and Cafe Mom labeled her as defending the teen mom. Michele Zapp from CafeMom even went so far as to compare Sofia’s experience to the MTV show Teen Mom. Michele admits she has some envy for the young moms who are around longer to see their kids grow old, but “talk to me in 16 years and my daughter having news for me like this and it might be a different story.”
Are people blurring the young mom and teen mom? Of course there are pros and cons for every situation — and I love that Sofia has highlighted some positive aspects of young motherhood — but being a 16-year-old mother and a 21-year-old mother are two very different situations. There’s a difference between being in high school, walking the halls with a noticeable belly blazing like a scarlet A, and being a legal adult.
What do you think? Do you consider a 19-year-old woman a “teen mom”? Or would you categorize her more as a “young mom”. Or do you think the teen mom and young mom experience isn’t all that different?
Despite the label, I do love finding inspirational examples of young moms, like (super sexy) Sofia, who have gone on to create incredible careers and find success. It gives all of us a better rep, don’t you think?
I think I stop seeing someone as a “teen mom” once they’re out of high school.
But really, it’s not completely about the age number… I know some very immature 21, 22, and 23 year olds that couldn’t handle parenthood as well as some 17 and 18 year olds.
That’s a really good point. I sometimes feel like “teenager” is more about your actions than your age. I think people are very quick to group based on age, and when you group people under the title “teen mom” it’s almost always a negative image. And that’s unfortunate, because young moms need more encouraging examples than MTV and US Weekly covers.
21, 22, and 23 year olds? I know plenty of people who didn’t have kids until their mid30s who I would still say can’t handle it as well as some 17 and 18 year olds.
You’re being very kind.
I think there is a Huge difference!! My mom got married at 19 and had my brother 10 months later- I Definitely don’t classify her as a teen mom. She owned a home and was married. I had my son a week after my 21st birthday and felt more like a. “teen mom” at 21 than my mom at 19. Maybe because I was in college and not married?
I got pregnant with twins at 19 I was married and in a happy and stable relationship. I do draw the line at high school.
I think it depends on where u r in life…I was 19 when I had my son married and in the military 21 when I had my daughter 26 when I had #3 and 30 when I had twins…each age was different
I think its more about how mature you are, more than a number. I was a ‘teen mom’, having my daughter at the age of 17. But I also already lived on my own and was and still attending college. I just consider myself a mom. Plain, beautiful, an simple.
I think there is a difference! I got married at 18 and didn’t get pregnant until I was 20. Because I look very young people often assume that I’m a teen mom or that I must only be married because of an un-planned pregnancy. I graduated high school at sixteen, met my husband when I was eighteen and got married that same year. We got married because we loved each other and wanted to start a life together but being a stay at home mom and going back to college at the age of 21 I get a lot of judgemental stares. My life is completely different than a 16 year old with a child. I think once someone turns 18 they are considered an adult.
I was married at 18, became a mom at 19. There is a big difference between that and a teen mom. I never even thought to make that connection. I was out of school, not living with my parents, and (worked with my husband) to support myself. (I had to quit my job during the pregnancy because I was so massively sick 24/7, but still.)
I got pregnant at 19 (and turned 20 very shortly after). We had been married for over a year, we owned a house, my degree was almost complete…I do not consider myself to be apart of those immature teen moms on MTV. Some people are just old-fashioned.
From the previous comments by women who had babies before the age of 20, it sounds like the biggest difference between a teen mom and a young mom is where they are on their path to autonomy. In otherwords, are they full-fledged adults? To me, that means they’re not living at home, earning their own income (or working towards a degree), in a marriage/stable relationship, etc. I do think there is a transition time between teenager and “adult” and it’s getting longer with each rising generation. What you’d call those moms, I don’t know.
I have a sister and a cousin both become moms at 18, right around the same time. My sister was/is still very immature, and she didn’t even graduate high school. On the other hand, the cousin had much more maturity and even though she didn’t graduate either, there is a significant difference between their lives and their children. So while I think age does matter, it does not necessarily define a good/bad parent, overall it’s the maturity level.
I had my daughter when I was 16. I was a “teen” mom but not an immature teen mom. I lived on my own and fully supported my daughter and I while remaining in school and even went on to graduate with my bachelor’s degree. While being a “teen” mom was rough, it was not like the MTV show teen mom for me. The age stigma is there for teenage mothers for a reason but all situations are not the same. There are plenty of young mothers (18, 19, 20) that I know that are no where near mature enough to handle their children. The age doesn’t matter- its the strength of the mother that matters.
I think it is absolutely misleading to equate being a young mom with being a teen mom. I got pregnant at 22, just a few months after finishing my bachelor’s degree and one month before closing on my first house & many people still reacted as if I was doing my child a disservice.
My own mother has 8 children — the youngest & oldest are 25 years apart — and she had way more energy and physically a much better experience when she gave birth in her twenties. I think that people get culture mixed up with biology, yes older people have more money, time, etc, BUT that doesn’t change the fact that our bodies respond much better to pregnancies which occur earlier in our lives.
I am currently pregnant and just turned 22. It was unplanned but have been with my boyfriend for about 5 years now. To me, a young mom is the same as a teen mom. I guess when I think of me I think of myself as a youngER mom. I’m still your average everyday mom but I just had my son at a younger age than many others. I guess I just don’t like the word young. It sounds so…young and inexperienced with life. I may be only 22 years old but I can tell you I have more life experience than other 22 year olds. I feel like im more around age 30!
Yes, that’s why I prefer the word “early” around here. (Hence “early mama.”) Yet many people define 20-something moms as young moms. Young doesn’t always have to equal immature.