06.18.11
I started this post with the intention of writing about my struggle with wearing things that are age appropriate vs. life appropriate, and this weird in-between stage I’m in. I mean, I’m 24. Twenty four. I should still be rocking string bikinis and micro minis before the wrinkles and the sagging and the Who is this old lady?-ness sets in. I should be clinging to my youth. I should be.
Yet.
Maybe it has nothing to do with being a mother and a wife. Or maybe it has everything to do with being a mother and a wife. All I know is my comfort levels have certainly shifted — most specifically when it comes to the dreaded bathing suit conundrum. Confession: I haven’t worn a bathing suit since before I was pregnant. And it’s not just because I have some stretch marks or because I can press on my stomach and feel my spine. It’s because I don’t know how to give up bikinis. I’m sure I could still throw on a two-piece and be all Stretch Marks Rock inspiring — but I’ll leave that to a more care-free, scars-be-damned lady. (Any takers?) Yet my last memory of wearing a one-piece was when I was 10 years old, breast-stroking down the YWCA pool at swim practice, latex cap and all. Growing up, bikinis were the standard. One-pieces? For toddlers. Tankinis? Typically boring.
But then I found all of these sexy, trendy one-piece swimsuits and thought I could work with this. I had hope. I was excited. So I posted 20 of them over at Babble.com and thought everyone would be as stoked as me. And this is where I have to veer off into an unscheduled rant — especially for those childless women who are terrified of the havoc that pregnancy will wreak on their youthful bodies.
YOU CAN STILL LOOK SEXY. Seriously, ladies. What the heck is up? When I say that women were outraged that I would even think to post a Victoria’s Secret bathing suit for mothers to wear, I mean that one commenter literally wanted to “slap the sh*t” out of me. (That one makes me chuckle.) Another commenter said, and I directly quote, “That was pretty funny…Since even after you ‘lose the baby weight’, the curves do not exist anymore in the same places those models show. Lol”
And because these hoards of angry women lashed out via Facebook, I didn’t think it was right to retaliate in full force. But let’s get something straight. These are swimsuit models:
Ahh, yes. Pretty, sexy, super skinny. Everything you’d imagine a swimsuit model to me. But the bathing suits they’re wearing? Push-ups, padding, ruched fabric and tummy covering. But beyond the fact that swimsuit companies don’t actively seek women with tummy pooching and stretch marks (and if they do, they promptly airbrush to perfection), it’s frustrating to hear so many women perpetuate the stereotype that mothers = frumpy. Mothers = skirted one-pieces. Mothers = hide for cover.
Can anyone — someone – agree that post-baby bodies can still look damn good? That we shouldn’t just give up on ourselves? That being a mother isn’t the end of all things sexy? And if it is — doesn’t it have more to do with age (or pre-baby weight) than motherhood? Once again, if you feed into a stereotype, it gives people an excuse to just give up. Eh, I’m a mom now. Who am I kidding?
No. No. No. You still deserve to feel sexy and confident. Just because you don’t have a Victoria’s Secret body (did you ever have a Victoria’s Secret body?) doesn’t mean that a bathing suit can’t be flattering on you — especially when it’s designed to be hide your trouble spots. Muster up some confidence, ladies. Get the padding. Go retro-chic. Rock the damn bikini.
Did you change the way you dress after your baby? Did you switch to one-piece bathing suits? Are you so flipping tired of hearing that moms have saggy, mushy, ruined bodies? See all of my picks for one-piece bathing suits, and tell me if I’m as big of a monster as they say I am.
19 Comments to Two Piece or Not Two Piece?
Megan
June 18, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Once I have my son (any day now, hopefully), I plan on returning to whatever of my old wardrobe will fit me. I am buying a cute tankini top for the beach this summer, because 6-8 weeks out from giving birth, I’m definitely not going to be in bikini shape. I think these suits are darling though! If I had the budget to buy a couple of one-pieces, I would. They are way better if you’re, say, swimming in the ocean. No pieces to lose in a wave! Anyway, I will dress (age-appropriately) to show off my post-baby body. It’ll be different, but like the rest of my life, I’m pretty sure I’m going to love the changes.
michellehorton
June 18, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Good attitude, Megan! Good luck + congratulations!!
christina
June 18, 2011 at 1:19 pm
A lot of interesting thoughts…On the one hand, I think when your kid(s) are little babies the appropriateness question isn’t as relevant, but as they get older it will be an issue. Would wearing a revealing bikini make your daughter to want to “show off” her body like Mommy? What does showing that much skin around your son do to his psyche, especially as he gets closer to the age of caring about girls? I don’t know the answers, but these are definitely things I’ll think about when I choose how to dress or what swimsuit to wear.
Appropriateness aside, I say if you have your body back and want to rock the bikini, go for it. Mine unfortunately will probably not bounce back the way it would have after a singleton pregnancy. My abdominal wall split and there’s not much that working out will do to make it go back. I can hope that over time my internal organs that are still pooching out (even though I weigh 10 lbs less now than my pre-pregnancy weight) will somehow be held in so I can have the illusion of a flat stomach under my clothes. I’m not at the point of feeling comfortable in my normal clothes let alone a bikini, so I appreciate the sexy one-piece options! Though I don’t know that I’ll be working any kind of swimsuit this summer.
Alicia
June 18, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Come to the pool at my gym–lots of mom’s rockin bikinis and super cute non-mom tankinis and one pieces. There are a few that could be a little more covered up (thong at the family pool?!) but hey if you workout hard to have a great body you should definitely be proud to wear bikinis, tankinis, hot one pieces…in my opinion.
michellehorton
June 18, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Totally agree! I love to hear that. I hate hearing that a woman won’t wear a bathing suit anymore just because she’s had a baby.
michellehorton
June 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Very interesting, Christina, I hadn’t even thought that far into the future. I feel like it could go both ways — either mom is showing too much skin or mom is confident enough to not let body issues embarrass her. I think it’s important to teach girls to be comfortable in their skin, whichever way that is. But there’s a tight balance to walk. When I said appropriateness, I meant more about myself and feeling comfortable. But that’s something I hadn’t thought about.
And I’m very jealous of women who can walk away from a pregnancy without stretch marks, but I can’t imagine what it must be like to carry three babies! Luckily there are swimsuits designed to flatten tummies and are still cute. But I’m sure you have so much more on your mind than swimming. I love all of the pictures you put on facebook — especially the kung-fu one!!
m
June 18, 2011 at 3:48 pm
It can be done! Instead of focusing too much on the scale after I had my son, I looked to my old clothes as my goal/guide. Now I can fit into everything like before, however, somethings I don’t wear yet. I have to consider how I’ll look breastfeeding/access to said breasts. However, I don’t plan on wearing any old bikinis anytime soon. While I can “hide” any change to my breast, I’m not pleased with my belly button area. I had my son a little over a year ago, so maybe it can still improve; I think I can still see it recovering, but perhaps I’m wishfully imagining.
Congrats on your baby! Having a good attitude really does help
Taylor
June 18, 2011 at 8:16 pm
I bought a tankini for my first summer as a mom. If my stomach wasn’t covered in stretch marks, I’d absolutely rock the bikini! I don’t understand why those girls were so upset with your article, I thought those suits were really cute!
Heather
June 19, 2011 at 2:49 am
I fully plan to be back in a bikini!!!!! The summer after my first baby was born I bought my first one-piece in years but, honestly, it was because I felt way more sexy and confident in a one-piece than in a revealing bikini. My body just wasn’t back to where I wanted it to be in order to rock the bikini. And for me, being in a swimsuit is all about being comfortable, enjoying playing with my toddler, and not worrying about falling out or slipping anything or having the suit bunch in weird places. For me, a one piece was/is more functional and comfortable than a two-piece. But as a 26 year-old mom of almost two, I will DEFINITELY be returning to the bikini as soon as I can!
Amy
June 19, 2011 at 10:10 am
I kept wearing my bikini after I had my son. I was lucky though and don’t have stretch marks (please, don’t hate me) and that went a long way towards boosting my confidence levels about it.
I think it’s about comfort and confidence- for me, I haven’t yet found a one piece I can rock, but I love my bikini (and lets be honest, my husband does too- and if I’m not wearing it for him, who am I wearing it for?)
michellehorton
June 19, 2011 at 5:18 pm
I don’t hate you! Just a tad bit jealous.
michellehorton
June 19, 2011 at 5:19 pm
Good for you!!! My goal for the summer is to find a swimsuit that makes me feel super confident, no matter what type it is.
michellehorton
June 19, 2011 at 5:20 pm
THANK you. So did I!
Miriam
June 21, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Once I was out of middle school I was never comfortable in a bikini…mostly because I’m really modest in my dress. I wore a bikini on my honeymoon and that was the last time. I do, however, go back and forth about the swimsuit issue. I want to feel confident and act confident because I want my daughters to know that just because I don’t fit society’s standards of beauty that I can still be beautiful. I want them to feel good about their bodies. So even though I want to cover up my cellulite and my stretch marks at the pool….I want to have the confidence to bare it all just so they can see that beauty comes from the inside and damn what society says. You know?
Samantha
June 24, 2011 at 12:30 pm
I have to say the only reason I wear a one piece instead of a two piece is because the kids always grab at my clothes and don’t want a bikini top riding up.
And those women who criticize the bathing suits for “mothers”…. I think it is just an excuse they stick to so there is a reason why they can’t wear them. I’ve had four kids and while I’m not in the best shape of my life, I’m also not over-weight and blaming it on my kids.
Lauren
June 28, 2011 at 2:10 am
I can’t believe that anyone would be outraged at your babble post! Ahhhh! Here’s a different spin… My body is better NOW than before I had my two sons! As a younger mama too (I was 25 when my oldest son was born, and the first of my friends to even think about having kids). I had always struggled with my weight a bit, but being pregnant gave me just the motivation that I needed to be healthy and get fit. Not just for me, but for my boys. 6 weeks after my first son was born, I weighed 10 pounds less than before I was pregnant. Now I’m proud to say that I am in the best shape of my life, running around after two little ones and ensuring that I provide them healthy meals and snacks. So, while I won’t be rocking a bikini (and I certainly wouldn’t have before), due to some stretch marks and a little extra post-baby pooch, I do plan to rock a sexy one-piece, and feel great in it. And, not that some of my friends are finally starting to catch up and make babies, I have plenty of friends that still look amazing in a bikini! Down with frumpy moms! Let’s show our kids that we still care enough about ourselves to look like we do! It’s important to teach our little ones to take pride in the way that they present themselves to others.
Shannon
April 16, 2012 at 4:57 am
Girls, I’ve got 5 kids between the ages of 29 and 11. Thanks to some work on my part and great genetics, I still have a fairly nice body. And look out beaches cause I’ll be Rockin a bikini usually smaller than my 24 year old daughters, who is much more modest. I’m not that mom who prances around trying to look like her kid-I just feel comfortable in a bikini and :p to anyone who thinks otherwise!
Cassi
May 7, 2012 at 12:24 pm
I have absolutely no intentions of being a frumpy mom. My mom was considered a hot mom (as people frequently told me). I too will be a hot mom.
carolann
July 25, 2012 at 5:17 am
My daughter is almost three months old.. I have stretch marks on my boobs… I need a bathing suit that will hide those everything else I’m not worried about my stomach is perfect lol help!! Something cute and no so expensive