The beginning of labor, 2.5 years ago
The moment I saw the second line appear on my pregnancy test three years ago, I felt a clutter of emotions and thoughts — all dripping in dream-like disbelief — yet two clear thoughts stood out from the rest:
1. Oh my god, I’m going to have to go into labor; and
2. My body is ruined.
Seriously, those were two of my first comprehensive thoughts. Of course the latter thought wasn’t an all-consuming concern — it wasn’t something I actively tried to prevent, besides slathering on cocoa butter. But when you’re 22, at your peak youthfulness, it’s an issue.
But not as big of an issue as I had initially thought.
In my pre-pregnant life (a lifetime ago), I was at battle with my body. As if we were two separate entities, always at odds. I pushed my body, fought with my body. It could always do a little more — run an extra mile, do an extra strength set, stay awake another hour. And often times my body would push back with chronic colds and stomach problems.
Yet when I was pregnant, I learned to work with my body, listen to my body, respect my body. For the first time I felt in tune with not only what I wanted, but what my body needed. I stopped eating “diet” food pumped with additives and preservatives — focusing on whatever had the most nutrition rather than the least calories. I stopped pushing my body past its limits. I listened.
And that’s never gone away, even after pregnancy. In fact, after seeing all my body can accomplish — from labor to breastfeeding — I have an even stronger respect and appreciation for all my body is capable of.
So while I was googling what would happen to my stomach, my skin, my breasts, my feet, my hips, I had no idea that the real change wouldn’t be my body, but my relationship with my body. And even though I do have some stretch marks and my pre-baby abdominal muscles haven’t tightened back to their original strength, the changes are pretty minimal. Shockingly minimal, in fact. I mean, I’m not sure I’d wear a two-piece bathing suit just yet — but who cares? (To be fair, I haven’t exercised a single day since I gave birth. Yikes!)
After seeing all that my body can do, those concerns just don’t matter anymore. And in that respect, I’d much prefer my post-baby body. The one that I listen to. The one that I’m proud of. The one that gave me my child.
15 Comments to The Truth About My Post-Baby Body
Jess K
June 9, 2011 at 1:38 pm
I have realized that I did more “damage” to my body prior to being pregnant than I did while pregnant. I have some stretchmarks on my stomach and my hips are a little bit wider, but I already had big hips so it doesn’t phase me. It’s funny you post this because I after I mounted the scale last night I sighed, (still being hovering right around or at my pre-pg weight), and wondered if I will ever get back to my pre-COLLEGE&HUSBAND weight.
That is the true test (for me), I probably have about 50 pounds to lose. My “baby weight” quickly went away and I was back down 6 weeks after I had Tucker. Now though, as you put it, I am much healthier, and make better decisions because I feel that they don’t only reflect upon myself, my health, and my body, but my little guy’s as well. He is going to learn from me, so I better be on my A game and teach him healthy habits. That is how I think about it. Someday I might get back there, but if not, I’m happy with who I am becoming now. I just want to live a healthy, active lifestyle and be here for many years to come with my family, husband and baby (hopefully babies). 
Brandy
June 9, 2011 at 2:11 pm
So so hit the nail on the head! I do find I take way better care of my body (eating right and working out) after kids, mainly because I find when I am healthy I am way better at running around like a kid (with my kids) all day long. And when I feel good about myself (my body), my kids will also learn to love themselves…or so I hope. But I try to never compare how things were before babies, cause really life will never be like that again so why should our bodies.
Tiny Blue Lines
June 9, 2011 at 2:16 pm
This was nice to hear, but I have to say, you look great from your pictures! I have really been struggling this week, after some comments I got at the hospital the other day.
The setting: I’m teaching a nurse aide course at the hospital. It has gotten around that I missed a class for having my baby. (Sidenote: Not sure how that rumor started).
Student: “Wow, you look great for just having a baby!”
Me: “Um, she’s a year old.”
Student: Pauses, looks uncomfortable. “Oh…”
Siiighh…My stomach has always been my problem issue, even before having kids. Now, two kids later, I understand why mom jeans were invented. It’s hard to feel good about your body, even after all that I know it’s accomplished, when I am just plain not comfortable in my own, too-loose-for-my-liking skin.
I like your message about not fighting your body though, I think that’s the key, and maybe why I haven’t been able to shed the last few pounds. Here’s to a new attitude, starting today. Thanks Michelle!
Sarah B
June 9, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was at Lowes last night buying spray paint and a rake and the cashier told me that I better not be doing these projects myself. She then asked when I was due (I had my baby last month). So . . . I lied and told her I was due in 4 months. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that my baby was made of cookies and ice cream.
Alissa
June 9, 2011 at 4:24 pm
When I was pregnant with my daughter, who’s now 15 months, I think losing my body was one of my biggest fears, and something I felt really guilty about. Why should I care what I look like, as long as she was healthy? But I think now, when I’m thinner than I was in high school (yay nursing!), I’m even healthier than I was back then. I eat right, to set an example for her, and I exercise as much as I can. I’ve been a competitive runner since high school, but when I was pregnant I stuck with walking since she liked to jump on my bladder if I tried to go faster. I think the drought of not running brought back some of the joy I had lost! I want her to see me as an example of being healthy, but also appreciating what you have. I may have some stretch marks, and my hips are bigger, but I’ve learned to love myself the way I am, and I hope I can set an example for her to do the same, especially with so many negative messages that are put out there for young girls these days.
Jessica
June 9, 2011 at 5:57 pm
I can so relate to this post! My relationship with my body has always been rocky, one-sided, and, at times, abusive. When I became pregnant the first time around, I surrendered, for better and worse, to something besides the voices in my head that were overly concerned with fat hips and big thighs. I surrendered, half hoping that my surrender would all work out in the end, and it did. Within six months after giving birth, I lost all of my baby weight and my body went back to what it once was (if not better than what it was). I breastfed and carried a child and my body cooperated, accommodated, and welcomed those two endeavors. It was on my side, I realized, all along. That’s amazing!
michellehorton
June 9, 2011 at 11:10 pm
I seriously need to start working out again, especially if we’re thinking about another pregnancy. I know I’ll feel so much better when I do, it’s just SO hard to find the time!
michellehorton
June 10, 2011 at 8:59 am
I really do think that’s the key. When I focused on nutrition and health rather than weight and calories, I landed at such a healthier place — not just my weight, but my overall health. It used to be so consuming, so exhausting, but I just have a different attitude than I used to. But I do still think it’s important to feel confident and good about yourself — it’s all about finding that happy balance.
michellehorton
June 10, 2011 at 9:01 am
Good for you, Alissa! I love that you’re setting a positive example, especially for a young girl.
michellehorton
June 10, 2011 at 9:01 am
It is amazing, Jessica. SO amazing.
Brandy
June 10, 2011 at 3:08 pm
OMG! I know what you mean. Now with two, I’m lucky if I can fit in 15 min. But its cool, I’m happy with that. Really more then anything it’s 15 min, to, me, myself and I! (rare rare rare!)
LoveBeeCharmer
January 27, 2012 at 5:17 am
Has anyone ever told you that your husband looks like Chris Evans? Sexy beast.
Kendra
March 10, 2012 at 1:09 am
This article was so encouraging for me! I just recently came across your blog and I can’t wait to share it with the other expecting and new mothers I know!
michellehorton
March 10, 2012 at 8:32 pm
Thanks Kendra! And congratulations on your pregnancy!
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