Sometimes life changes suddenly, drastically, wonderfully, and every day is an adaptation to that sudden, drastic, wonderful change. One day, then another, then another, and then the ball is dropping as it did last week, last month, last year? No, couldn't be a year ago. After all, this baby was only born last week, last month -- wait, almost a year ago?
2009 was a year I had looked forward to, feared and clung to -- seemingly simultaneously. Once upon a time my uncle had prophesied that '09 would be a significant year for me, and before I knew it, ringing in 2009 meant I'd be ringing in motherhood. And I did. I had no idea what I was doing, only that there was this teeny baby who, before 2009, never breathed, never touched, never laughed. Every day was brand new, for both of us.
It came with a newborn with unfocused eyes and spastic movements...
...and is leaving with a real live child.
A child that clings to Mommy because he knows who Mommy is; a child that points to the light because he knows what the word "light" means, claps because he knows what the word "clap" means, stops because he knows what the word "no" means. He's learned, absorbed -- faster than I could keep up with. He's feeding himself food and asking to drink from a big-person glass because sippy cups? So uncool mom. So much has been crammed into 2009 that it should feel like a decade in itself, yet here's the end. Already.
And here we are at 2010: The future. The decade started with first kisses and life-lasting friendships; school bus rides and pink Jansport backpacks. Riddled with bruised hearts, poor choices and love -- both real and imagined -- this was my coming-of-age decade. And now a new decade begins with a new identity and a new life.
Yes, there's the hope and excitement and vast, terrifying future as with every New Year -- perhaps this year more than ever. But unlike before, there's a tinge of heartbreak and Make-It-Stop. Can't I just have one more day to bask in the enormity of '09? To stay in the comforting bookends of the new Millennium?
Here's to the future. To our future. To his future.
Happy New Year everyone!
A community for teen and 20-something women who entered motherhood a little "early" and are learning how to be a mom, a partner, and an adult at the same time. Early Mama proves that young motherhood doesn't have to define or limit us.