10.16.09
So, for the announcement. No, I’m not pregnant.
I quit my job!
If you’ve been following this blog, you know how unhappy, how torn, how trapped I’ve felt. How can I leave a “good” job with phenomenal benefits? Should I settle for something safe? Is this what I’ve worked so hard for?
There’s a lot of sacrifices that motherhood requires: Your sleep, your free time, your appearance occasionally. One thing that I’m not willing to sacrifice is my ambition, because if I lose that — I lose myself. My whole life I’ve been described as ambitious, and I pride myself on that. It’s who I am. With my current job, there’s no advancement, no motivation, no challenge. And while I adore the people that I work with — all of whom are very talented, wonderful people — it’s not where I belong. There’s no passion — and if you aren’t passionate about what you’re doing, why do it?
For the past year and a half, my life has been dictated by circumstances and events, until — suddenly — I snapped out of it. What am I doing? Take control! Time wasn’t stopping for my internal debates, and every day that passed felt like another day lost. Another day that I missed of my child’s life. Another day that I felt unfulfilled and unproductive. That’s no way to live. Besides that, every day I felt guilty — and guilt is the product of knowing something you did or feel is wrong.
I think that every mother has to find the balance that works best for themselves, without listening to the unsolicited advice inevitably offered. We weighed our options, figured out how much we were spending on day care and gas and tolls, and thoroughly discussed what was right for us. I’ll be working some nights so that I can have my days with Noah, and hopefully find something part-time in my field that will make me happy, fulfilled.
I don’t have a definitive plan yet — but I have hope. And I’m very excited for the changes.
“To dream anything that you want to dream: That’s the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do: That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits: That is the courage to succeed.” Bernard Edmonds
4 Comments to Moving on
Stephanie Voloshin
October 21, 2009 at 4:52 am
Wow I know how bad you've wanted to do this. I'm proud of you for following your heart as scary as it might have been. I know you will make it work for you and your boys!
Tiny Blue Lines
October 30, 2011 at 2:15 pm
I know this is in the past, Michelle, but this is so inspiring–how you took action to make your life work for you. I absolutely love it, and I hope I can follow in your footsteps!
Jaye
July 11, 2012 at 3:51 pm
I love this post! I just found out I am pregnant. I have been working at the same job for over 4 years now and am completely bored and unpassionate about the work (or lack thereof) although I am grateful for having a great salary and benefits. I have been interviewing a lot over the last few months and it looks like I’m really close to getting a job that I truly want. Only it may come in as a 6 month contract (with option to renew). I’m worried because by the time I start I’ll probably be 3 months pregnant. Do I have to tell them? What do I do?!
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